The Crazy Life Of A Kid From Brooklyn //

Hilarious rendition of:

Bklyn – 30’s, 40’s 50’s

Stuyvesant H.S. (NY) – 40’s

U of Alabama – early 50’s

Army: Ft. Jackson (Basic), Ft. Mcclellan (Chem Corp), Korea

Pres. of a corp.before 35 yrs old.

Encounters/ Sgt York, Cordell Hull, Jomo Kenyatta, Nando Parrado, Regina, Vince Camuto, Peter Drucker :

The book starts with my family & my best friend Louie, who constantly got me in trouble both in and out of school. In spite of this we remained the closest of friends throughout his relatively short life. I then go into exploits at Stuyvesant H.S. in N.Y., doing things that would not be tolerated in this day and age. From there on to the University of Alabama, which among other things was known for it’s practical jokes. One of the funnier ones (not to me) was played at my expense. Later, I was to get a little revenge by playing a famous joke on the ROTC staff. After joining a fraternity, (AE pi) which is where I met my wife of many years. We then go through the trials & tribulations of opening a small business while still in school. Upon graduation I go to work selling shoes in the Hillbilly Country of TN. It was there that I met some of the finest people, learning some great life lessons, and savoring those memories to this day.

After 5 years of ROTC I was drafted into the army as a buck private. After basic training I was stationed in Ft. McClellan, AL. That doesn’ last long however as I am suddenly sent to Korea. I write about the unusual experiences aboard ship and some of the funny and not so funny non combat experiences in Korea.Those included an army acting career, teaching some wonderful young Koreans, some close calls, & then how I lost a couple of stripes.

After being discharged from the army we returned to Brooklyn where I was offered a job as a Mgt.Trainee for Thom McAn shoes. I managed to rise up the ranks in various divisions and locations when I am offered a position as Executive V. P. of Kitty Kelly Shoe Co, with the idea of becoming President within six months. I wanted to fullill my dream of becoming a president of a company before I was 35 years of age. After 2 1/2 very profitable years I had to leave due to internal family problems. After a couple more high position assignments, learning the import-export business, and traveling to over 48 countries I started Marquesa International and Marquesa Import company. This became a very successful operation until a vicious scam, that was perpertrated on us made me decide to retire.

I quickly realized (after 2 weeks) that retirement was not for me and so I went into a new field; banking. My first assignment was selling direct to businesses for Advanceme until I worked my way up to Senior V. P. of Sterling. When the market crashed in 2008 I formed my own commercial loan brokerage..

Targeted Age Group:: 20 & up

What Inspired You to Write Your Book?
I used to relate stories about my life to my friends who insisted that they were absolutely hysterical and that I should write my auto-bio. So I sat down and did it.

How Did You Come up With Your Characters?
These were all characters that I had met. Some famous and some in unusual circumstances.

Book Sample
My Best Friend Louie
It was 1933 in the middle of the depression. Sam, my father had found out in October 1929 that his entire fortune was wiped out. He would need to liquidate his successful curtain rod factory with 600 employees to pay for the margin call. Although Sam was a moderately religious Jew he did not fit the stereotype of that period and although he was born in the Ft. Greene section of Brooklyn (on farmland with a pedestrian toll bridge going to their property) he spent some time up in Norman, Oklahoma. My father was an excellent horseman and could rope a steer. Otherwise he was the gentlest person that I had ever known. He was also an expert on nature, animals and he knew the Latin name of almost any tree or plant. I am told that one day when I was very young he took me on a trip to Norman l where he had me on his lap on the horse. We were supposed to go

to a small town outside of Norman when suddenly the horse stopped cold and refused to move. When I was old enough to understand and heard my father relate the story to friends I learned that some animals, especially those that are domesticated have a special sense of danger. It seems that when we got back to Norman dad’s friends couldn’t believe that we had survived the tornado that leveled the town that were supposed to go to. Although he studied medicine he was offended by the crude practices of the medical profession at the time, especially what he conceived of the crude treatment of children in the hospitals. Still, he had surgeon hands and could slice meat or turkey paper thin. During World War 2 he did volunteer work for the Red Cross and he did research for Dupont. Dad was a superb fisherman and outdoorsman. On weekends he would take me to Kensico Reservoir in New York where we would fish for Bass. I even learned how to find and handle Copperhead snakes, once bringing one home to my mother in the trunk of the car. I was saved from a beating but Dad got yelled at. Jeanne was my mother and she had a sister and two brothers. One of her brothers came back from World War 2 surviving the Battle of the Bulge with no interest in going into the family business. His brother Sam led an unbelievable life. At age 12 Sammy was hit in the eye with a snowball which had traces of a diseased horse in it. This caused him to get horribly sick. He set a record up to the time that it happened as to the number of diseases residing in one person’s body. Although Sam survived the ordeal his eyes and his eyesight were destroyed completely. With the support of his family he graduated college, played the saxophone, married and had three fine children. Sammy refused the use of a Seeing Eye dog and he managed to get around with a cane. Eventually he opened up a newsstand on 48th Street and Broadway in Manhattan. He ran this stand successfully for many years travelling back and forth by subway to his home in the Bronx. He was a great fan of the Yankees and he would sit in front of the TV set (why not the radio we never really knew), always claiming that he could out manage whoever the current manager was.

I was born on Henry Street in downtown Brooklyn, which today is quite an upscale neighborhood. Mom came here from Paris at the age of 2 and Dad was born in Brooklyn. It was said that my grandparents had to leave Paris very quickly as my mother had pushed a bottle of milk down from their second floor window sill, killing a horse standing in front of the building. They could be characterized as Roaring Twenties Flappers My families’ friends were truly International: Mexico, Syria, Lebanon, Hungary, Latvia, Ireland and Italy and my mother cooked in all languages. The Syrians especially came for her baked Kibbe’ which they said was better than they had in Damascus. The Metres family who I considered my aunt and uncle were fascinating. Theresa was a living angel. Her father was a general in the Mexican army. She eloped with Jim Metres, who was from Syria and the Mexican army chased them to the border. Uncle Jim would honor me in later years by allowing me to play Pinochle with him and my father, Aunt Theresa made the best Chicken Mole which when made right I love to this day. During the depression my parent fed many a jobless and very poor family. From there we moved to the Bronx where my grandparents had a well known Appetizing store on Allerton Avenue (smoked lox, sturgeon, Beluga Caviar, homemade pickles in a barrel, fancy canned goods and exotic candies and nuts). If I was about 5 years older I probably could be running my Grandparent’s appetizing store. It was a little fancier than Russ & Daughter’s. The pickle barrels were out front. When you entered the store there was the long counter on the right with the lox, sturgeon, caviar, herrings, and pickled herring. The lox was sliced tissue paper thin. Everything was the best. On the left side a table with Halvah and trays of exotic candies and nuts from all over the world. As you went down toward the rear were the cans of premium brand sardines, anchovies, salmon, tuna and chickpeas. The Peacock brand was wrapped in a fancy
purple cellophane paper. In the rear was a large freezer and a room with a table and chairs for the extended family to eat.

The pickles and pickled herring were prepared in the basement by Grandma. We lasted only a little over a year there because my mother found out the building that we lived in was infested. Not by bugs or vermin but by Communists. So it was back to Brooklyn in a nice neighborhood in the Flatbush section. I was in the 5th grade and Public School PS 92 was around the corner. I remember a cool day when we were lined up in the school yard. The line was moving slowly (forgot where it was going but probably we were going to register). This guy behind me starts kicking me in the back of my shins every once in a while. Finally I turn around glaring at him and he smiles and says: “Can’t you talk?” So that was the beginning of our long friendship.

So, now it turns out that Louie Dinolfo Jr. (Louis to his family) lived diagonally across from where we live. His family had a house and my family had a 5th floor apartment.

Until I went off to college we spent lots of time in each other’s houses. We adored each other’s families. At one point we put up a wire across Clarkson Avenue attached to tin cans so that we could talk to each other without the phones. We had lots in common from Baseball to getting in trouble, which Louie was ALWAYS the instigator. In school I was in trouble from day 1. Louie sat directly behind me and would manage to get me in trouble with our home room teacher Ms. Breslin. There used to be large ink bottles to be used to fill the inkwells in the desks. Now Ms Breslin loved her plants which were near the windows to the left of our desks. Louie’s idea was to have me pour the ink into the plant dirt and he would warn me if the teacher turned around. So what does my friend do? He tells me to go ahead just as she is staring down at me. Hell to pay. I’m marched into the principal’s office and my mother is called. My mother was the only person that I feared on earth. In those days there was no such thing as ‘time out”; you got smacked. But even she had to laugh when Ms. Breslin shouted: “It’s either HIM or ME that’s leaving this school.” Things calmed a little bit and although we were both Yankee baseball fans the Dodger stadium (Ebbets Field) was just a few blocks from where we lived. The bleachers were 55 cents and sometimes a kind usher would let us sit in the grandstand. Even better my synagogue (Judea Center) and his church (Holy Cross) were giving out free tickets on alternate weeks. So first Louie and I line up at Judea Center and get our tickets and the next week we go to Holy Cross. Louie says that when the Nun with the tickets comes to me I should ask her if we could get better seats. (It took me a while to learn with Louie that he always had something planned.). The nun is in front of me. One hand was holding the tickets and the other hand was holding a 12 inch ruler. What in the world was she going to measure? I smile. “Sister. Is there any chance that we can get better seats?”. She gives me a fierce look that I can picture to this day. “Hold out your hands”. WHACK! She slams the ruler with that metal piece inserted (I guess to draw lines with) on my hands and the stinging is unbelievable. I knew there and then that there was no way I would ever become a Catholic. The memories of the games that we saw were great however.

After school, weather permitting we played all kinds of ball games with a pink ball that we called a Spaldine. A Spaldine was a little smaller than a tennis ball but it had a lot of bounce. It was especially effective when you played “Stoop Ball”. That is where you threw the ball aiming at the point of one of the steps on the stoop. (the stairs going up to the doorway). That beside games of marbles, Hide and Seek, Ringaleevio, Johnny on the Pony, Stickball, punch ball and others was what we enjoyed.. One day it was just the 2 of us playing stick ball. Louie hits one over the fence into a yard. (Louie was an excellent ball player) This little mean looking kid picks up the ball and puts it into his pocket, Hey! Throw that ball back over here we yell. “You want the ball come here and see if you can take it from me.”.Well, he was kind of small so it didn’t take the 2 of us to get the ball back. (Of course who do you think was egging me on).

Now Louie and I are of course known in the neighborhood as 2 wild characters. Doesn’t this guy know that? We are now face to face. All of a sudden the blows are coming from out of nowhere. This little runt is beating the crap out of me. Louie is laughing hysterically. We didn’t get the ball and when I realize that street fighting is not boxing. I then decide to take boxing lessons and eventually join the Boys club on avenue A and
10th St. in Manhattan in order to learn the art of boxing. Even though I am slow on my feet and my father advised me against it I pay him no mind. In fact one night I come home from a match with a bandage over my right eye where I had received a cut. My mother was playing cards with her group. She looked up at me as I walk into the apartment and she tells her card group that she will be right back. Mom then stands up, motions me to the bedroom, closes the door and from the floor her hand comes flying up and hits me across the face. As I go reeling across the bedroom she states that my boxing career has just ended. And it did. Both of Louie and I were great Babe Ruth fans. The Babe was dying of Cancer and he was giving a farewell speech at Yankee Stadium. It was a sunny Mid June day. Our seats were in the grandstand. His voice
was pitiful and his uniform hung sadly over what were once very broad shoulders. It was sad but we were glad that we went. During our late lunch at a Chinese restaurant we commiserated over the fact that despite his foibles he would have made a great manager since he had an instinctive knowledge of the game and its players.

Louie and I had many adventures. The superintendent of our building was a mean Norwegian Nazi. There was a large center table in the center of our apartment building and Louie lifts one end and then lets it down with a large bang. Mr. Nelson the super comes running out and he smack me. We then did everything we could to torture him from hitting him with snowballs, from even getting our friend Sid Gordon who was a famous ballplayer that lived across the street to fire snow balls at his head to turning over the garbage cans filled with used coal, which he brought from the basement. When we were creating mischief sometimes the police would chase us but we knew every back alley and hiding place in the neighborhood. They never could catch us. Louie got me fired once from my job delivering dry cleaning, when he grabbed the cleaning and dumped them in a garbage receptacle, so when I delivered the dry cleaning they stunk like you wouldn’t believe. No surprise that I was immediately fired. On Friday’s I would load up on candy from the money that I received as tips. There was this local candy store on the corner where were well known and friendly with the owner. One Friday Louie is bragging to the owner that I could eat a dozen ice cream sundaes with nuts, whipped cream and Fox’s U-Bet chocolate syrup. Joe, the owner said that if I finished them within an hour they would be free and I’ get a couple of dollars to boot.

Joe obviously didn’t know who he was dealing with. I finished them all with 5 minutes to spare. I wasn’t feeling too well but our crazy friend Fitz (Fitzpatrick) got so excited that he ran into the street (Bedford Avenue, a busy street) and was nearly was run over by a car. Amazingly he ended up stretched out under the car and he was unhurt. The day that the Korean war broke out 4 of us went to the Marine recruiting station to volunteer. Lou and I were too young but the other 2 were accepted. Sadly these brave Marines would both be killed at the famous Chosin Reservoir battle near Hagaru. Eventually Lou would end up in the air force and me in the army.

Lou continued to hound me. We went to different High schools, Lou, locally at Erasmus High School where my sister Eleanor went there along with my sister), on Flatbush Avenue and me in Manhattan on East 15th Street. Stuyvesant was and still is one of the best high schools in the country that graduated many famous scientists. Few were taken that applied and it was then an all male school. At the time it was an all boy’s school which never made any sense to me. Lou had gotten me a job in the summers delivering wool in the garment district. Very boring but I loved the lunches: a fried egg and a minute steak on a Kaiser roll. It was rebuilt and moved a few years ago. Ralph a local friend tells me that it was so filthy in those years that he couldn’t take it and so he transferred to Seward Park High School in Lower Manhattan. Talk about being filthy, Louie and I had a friend that we called Fink. He wasn’t much on bathing and he was barred by my Mom from getting any farther than the hallway of our apartment. Fink was a very strange guy and if there was a radical cause he was into it. He become a well known radical, not surprising in later years and also an accomplished photographer. His dingy apartment was on the first floor, up the block from us. No A/C of course and one summer the small TV was perched on their window sill. Louie thought it would be great fun to set off a firecracker just behind the set. Somehow the Fink family didn’t see that as fun. Louie and I were never separated for long and we went to all of each other’s affairs, weddings, Bar Mitzvahs, Christenings, etc. Louie flew down to Birmingham for my wedding, along with some other good friends at the time. Also I remember his son’s wedding when I commented that those in the church outside of the wedding party were dressed very casually. It was explained that if they were too strict they would never get them into the church. He was always a very loyal friend. Louie supported me through some very, very tough events. When the playing, tricks and jokes were over there is nothing that we wouldn’t do for each other and our families. Louie was a hard worker and had the same job in the back room of a Wall St. firm for many years, but he was a very heavy smoker. He contracted Cancer and died very quickly, way before his time. It is a rare day that I don’t think of him and his family. We know his lovely parents, aunts and uncles and we are to this day still in contact with his wife Mary and her family.

My dream then was to play baseball for the NY Yankees. I was on the Stuyvesant baseball team but because of my working hours my playing time was limited. I was a pitcher partly because I was a very slow runner but I did have a good fast ball, though a little wild (Actually a lot wild). I had been schooled by “Pop” Sekol who ran the “Ice Cream” league. It was called the Ice Cream league because Pop would buy ice cream for the players on the winning team. We played in the Parade Grounds in Prospect Park in Brooklyn. Many famous ballplayers played there. In fact the famous Sandy Koufax pitched in Pop’s league. One late afternoon I was pitching. It was a tie game and due for extra innings. Pop was the umpire and wanted to stop the game because of darkness. After much convincing and cajoling Pop agreed to let me pitch to one more man in order to get the final out. I decided to throw side arm so that the pitch would come out of the darkened shade. the poor hitter never flinched as the ball smashed into his elbow. That ended the game and it was also the end of Bill in the Ice Cream league. Years later when we were both in the shoe business and pop would either tell stories at the shoe shows of Sandy Koufax or Bill Morgenstein’s wild pitches. Once every 2 or 3 weeks if the weather was clear I would walk from Clarkson Avenue in Brooklyn to East 15th St (near Union Square) in Manhattan. That was probably close to 8 miles and it took over 2 hours but I loved to walk and it beat taking the crowded and smelly subways. Besides gym my favorite courses were history and chemistry. Shop class used to be fun until the teacher threw what I had labored on at me. He thought that it resembled a penis. (I forgot what it was supposed to be). Of course I got into trouble in Chemistry. We had been given a project regarding “household dangers in the kitchen”.

I like to experiment and discovered that if you mixed a brass cleaner call Noxon with Clorox you released hydrogen which was explosive. So when called on by the teacher (he was a PHD in chemistry no less) and explained this he laughed and said it was nonsense. I then proceed to pour the Noxon into a beaker of Clorox. BOOM! Nobody got hurt but we did have to evacuate the classroom. Now was that my fault? Now my 2 buddies Mike and Schneiderman (we called him Abercromibie but don’t ask me why) figured out how to make smaller explosions without those cumbersome materials. We learned about Sodium. Sodium is a soft metal that can be cut like cheese. If exposed to air it burns. If put in water, after a few minutes you get a hydrogen explosion. We found a chemical store on Canal St. in Chinatown that sold it by the pound. It was kept in oil in large jars. First we took it to Prospect park lake; cut off piece and flipped them into the water. Explosions all over the place. ———When the cops arrived we acted very innocently. “You damn kids playing with firecrackers?” No officer we don’t have any firecrackers. “What’s in dat jar/”. that’s cheese officer. “Well, if youse kids see anyone with fire crackers find us and tell us.” OK so now we had a plan for school. After dropping the sodium in the water it takes about 30-40 seconds for the Hydrogen to separate from the Oxygen., then the reaction heats up and the hydrogen explodes.

That gave us enough time to put about 6 small slices of sodium in the men’s room and get out into the hall undetected. We blew up about 8 toilets that day and the whole school had to be evacuated. Otherwise I did well in school. And ended up with a Gold PSAL medal for athletics, although with my oversized flat feel I wasn’t a great athlete. I failed Latin not only because I told Dr. Coyle that it was not a spoken language and useless but he caught me looking over at another student during the finals. He gave me a grade of 27. The Prom was nice as Blossom was my first official date. Louie had previously fixed me up with Bea C. (name changed to protect the innocent) on a blind date. My god was she ugly and Louie’s was no better. We resorted to “plan B”. We had met in front of the BMT subway station and were supposedly going to go to Manhattan but when the train pulled up on the other side of the platform we jumped in just before the doors closed and had ourselves a good laugh.

We had other diversions of course like harassing the communist speakers in Union Square (famous for weirdo speakers, jugglers and clowns (both intentional and unintentional.). Also we would cut school to see Frank Sinatra at the Brooklyn Paramount. I participated in a school strike organized by the coaches because

About the Author:
I was born and brought up in Brooklyn and attended Stuyvesant High School in Manhattan; was graduated from the University of Alabama. Drafted into the army and sent to Korea. Many interesting jobs along the way where I worked myself up to become president of a shoe chain before I was 35. After which I formed my own business, retired briefly and went into banking.
Married over 60 years with 2 fine children and grandchildren.

The following is an Interview conducted by Smashwords on the author Bill Morgenstein and his new book, The Crazy Life Of A Kid From Brooklyn.


Interview with Bill Morgenstein

Where did you grow up, and how did this influence your writing?
I was born in Brooklyn in the 30’s and since this was a unique time and I had an interesting close friend that got us into constant trouble in both PS 92 and our Flatbush neighborhood it was a good place to begin my interesting and sometimes hilarious auto biography.
When did you first start writing?
I have written short articles throughout my life. While relating stories of my travels and experiences to some friends they insisted that the stories were so funny that I should put them in a book. It took my about 4 months to write it. Writing came easy and I had old letters, notes, address books and photos to use as a guide.
What’s the story behind your latest book?
Starting with my childhood I relate my days as a rascal in grade school, Stuyvesant High school in Manhattan and the University of Alabama, where I met my wife of 60+ years. From there I go into my sales job in the “Hillbilly” Country of Tennessee before I was drafted into the army. After discharge I had various retail jobs until I became president of the Kitty Kelly Shoe chain when I was 35 years old. Included we some wild experiences. Eventually I formed my own successful import-export company. My retirement lasted 2 weeks and I went into finance and banking where I am today. I met some fascinating people and travelled to over 40 countries during my careers.
What motivated you to become an indie author?
Since I wasn’t famous and didn’t have any connections with publishers I felt that I would go it alone and frankly I am glad that I did.
What is the greatest joy of writing for you?
Since I am telling trues stores about some very interesting people my writing flows easily. I got a big kick out of writing it and then reading the finished product.
What do your fans mean to you?
Without the fans I wouldn’t sell many books. I know that my friend and family would write good reviews but I was amazed that so many strangers give it a Five Star ***** review on Amazon.
What are you working on next?
I would like to write two more books. One on Economics and trade and the other on politics.
What inspires you to get out of bed each day?
The love of life. I jump right up, usually early and wither go to the gym and work right after breakfast.
When you’re not writing, how do you spend your time?
Reading and researching and then spending time with my family, either in person or over the phone.
Do you remember the first story you ever wrote?
It wasn’t really a story but a manual for the army.
What is your writing process?
The words flow easily although I must go back and check spelling, grammar and form.
Do you remember the first story you ever read, and the impact it had on you?
The first was the bible and then Robin Hood. The bible gave me the love of G-d and my people and the story of Robin Hood gave me the desire to respect the common man and the love of justice.
How do you approach cover design?
I started with a photo of myself as a child and then added the subjects and essence of the book and a brief biography.
What are your five favorite books, and why?
I love to read about History, religion, military and biographies. They are both fascinating, inspiring and educational for me.
What book marketing techniques have been most effective for you?

1. Utilizing my e-mail list.2. Facebook and LinkedIn groups.

3. Giving out business cards at referral group meetings

4. Sending copies of the book to newspaper and magazine reviewers

5. Distributing the book to libraries.

I have not you tried book signings but plan doing that in the future.

Describe your desk
It looks like a bloody mess but I usually know where everything is.
How has Smashwords contributed to your success?
Not yet but I certainly hope that it will.

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